Shopping Cart
Your Cart is Empty
Quantity:
Subtotal
Taxes
Shipping
Total
There was an error with PayPalClick here to try again
CelebrateThank you for your business!You should be receiving an order confirmation from Paypal shortly.Exit Shopping Cart

David Royko Psy.D


Blog

Blog

Our Son's Love of Music Shines Through His Severe Autism

Posted on November 10, 2015 at 4:40 PM

Also on

HUFFINGTON POST


A few years ago, Ben, our son with severe autism, got a chance to meet one of his favorite musicians -- or more accurately, meet the man responsible for creating some of his favorite music. We now know there's a big difference, and this "meeting" helped us understand our big guy a little better.

If you're unfamiliar with Bela Fleck, he's not a typical banjoist, having received Grammy nominations in more categories than any other musician (and won a bunch, too).

Ben's been a Bela Fleck fan forever. We know when Ben's a fan of someone because he either (a) requests them a lot, and/or (b) doesn't immediately "request" (anxiously demand) something else when it starts to play.

There is no way Ben could sit through a concert, even if it featured Bela, so he didn't come with us to the Cleveland Orchestra performance of Fleck's Banjo Concerto. After hearing this engaging work, Karen and I had a chance to chat with Bela (we've become friends over the years) and his wife and musical partner, Abby (Abigail Washburn). When we described Ben's love for his music, Bela offered to play for Ben if we wanted to bring him up to their room the next day.

"Ben, we're going to visit Bela Fleck!" I announced when we picked him up. The lack of any visible reaction was expected.

Ben seemed OK when we got out of the car at the hotel, but walking into the crowded lobby, Ben's voice boomed an anxious holler, bringing all eyes to us, nothing unusual for Ben outings. Bela and Abby came down to meet us, and up we went to their suite.

Luckily (or actually, knowingly), Karen brought scones, theoretically for all of us. Ben gobbled every one, chewing while we chatted. His single contribution to the conversation: "Go to the car."

As Ben finished the scones, Bela played for him.

How many people get a private recital by a favorite musician? But even this was no match for autism.

It was as if Bela wasn't there.

Louder and angrier, Ben demanded an end to this ordeal. "Go to the car!!!"


So 15 minutes after arriving, it was time for quick good byes. As the elevator doors were closing, Ben finally said something related to our visit.

"Bye Abby." Ben's always had an eye for a lovely lady.

Odd as it may sound, this experience brought to mind farm animals. Ben talks about them frequently and about farmers, tractors, and all things farm-related, but especially pigs, cows, horses, chickens, and goats. He loves them in books and on video. Bring him to a farm, however, and he might glance at one of the animals as we walk by. Or not. "In person" (or "in live animal") is not the same as in a book. To Ben, the book's much better.

It provided us with another little Benny epiphany (they never end). Music, Ben loves. From where it comes, or from whom, or how it's made -- important info for most typical music lovers -- might mean nothing to him. Sam Bush or Beethoven, Nickel Creek or Thelonious Monk, Brian Eno or Mary Poppins, Bela or Mozart -- the names attached to his favorites might be nothing more than labels. Even if he does connect a person to their music, it is not something he seems to care about.

But Ben sure cares about the music. As with his language, where the receptive piece (language input, written and spoken) is much stronger than the expressive (talking or typing), we know plenty is getting in there. What happens then, due to Ben's autism, can seem like a Black Hole -- stuff goes in, and often, that's the end of it, unless you can catch the clues.

Sometimes they are obvious. Before Ben's autism days began, certain discs, like Peter, Paul and Mommy, would instantly transform agitated crankiness into a silent, mesmerized stare into space while sitting in a highchair eating his mashed meals, more than two decades ago.

Two days ago, driving in the car, at his request we played Schubert impromptus, and Ben entered the same listening zone, staring ahead at nothing.

He knows what he likes. Later the same day, the Beatles weren't doing it for him, and he "suggested" the album Monk's Music instead, another favorite - of all of ours. Ben's requests truly can be music to our ears.

So if Ben has a savant "skill," it's his appreciation of music. Jazz and classical and rock and bluegrass and, oh yeah, Raffi (nobody's perfect) - Ben loves it all and would likely agree with Duke Ellington who, when asked about various types of music, said, "There are two kinds of music, the good kind and the other kind."

It's up to us to nurture that love, and taking it a bit further, maybe even help him connect a little more to the outside world through it. If Ben can never attend a concert, it's not too much to hope he could someday at least enjoy a brief backstage visit.

Maybe one that begins with: "Hi Abby. And Bela."

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

http://www.davidroyko.com/
http://www.davidroyko.com/benstories.htm (autism)
http://www.davidroyko.com/musicrambles.htm
http://www.davidroyko.com/publishedwritingmusic.htm


Ben tries out a piano on a street corner dropped off as part of the "Play Me, I'm Yours" art installation that was adorning Cleveland's streets, July 29, 2013

 

Photos of Ben playing the piano, and Ben with Bela Fleck: David Royko

Categories: None

Post a Comment

Oops!

Oops, you forgot something.

Oops!

The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.

Already a member? Sign In

9 Comments

Reply effeday
7:05 AM on April 28, 2022 
tissue gimme drifting
http://owhvoices.org/forum/profile/susanannand6658/ cheapest medications uk
http://bittyspaceprogram.com/discussion/profile/edmundolockyer/ cheapest tindamax can i order canada
http://philosophersroom.com/community/profile/crystaln7090325/ stocrin order now shop europe
http://www.updatekhobor.com/forum/profile/thelmajauncey06/ drug discount store beeliar
http://www.kinksoft.com/beta/forum/profile/odellrau9074344/ generic serevent online order
http://www.realizeyourpossible.com/community/profile/jordanbergin
67/ buy gasex thailand
http://payspieloo.com/blog/community/profile/elviarodman9065/ how to receive nft on trust wallet
http://piccolinomarkt.de/community/profile/cortezmorrison7/ buy kemadrin tablet online
http://gaindao.io/community/profile/mabelfrei30532/ mestinon buy visa australia
http://gamersutopia.gg/forum/profile/rondachalmers42/ online order prescription serratiopeptidase
http://laxcardarchive.com/community/profile/modestohutchiso/ canada pharmacy coupon
http://www.wpforum.co/profile/ayzmelaine93282/ nizanide pills buy now online
http://www.bestoddsonlinegambling.com/community/profile/haroldmai
tland8/ where can you buy medications
http://www.krabuangyai.go.th/community/profile/melisacronan146 medications medicine
http://ma-nhi101.sch.id/diskusi/profile/demetrius27d007/ felodipine how to purchase usa
http://domprofi24.ru/forum/profile/gingerf21840418/ cheapest motrin buy
http://www.greennursehc.com/community/profile/jonnafia4956304/ buy venlor without dr
http://www.e-waifu.com/community/profile/jonelle97v55770/ generic medicine available in canada
http://itmaa.org/community/profile/agustinduvall54/ drugs buy visa australia
http://theibohub.onecallcrew.com/community/profile/newtonducroz08
9/ lowest prices proscar uk
http://jmeter.stronazen.pl/community/profile/vvfsean13005274/ purchase carbolith online
http://community.jachoos.net/profile/cathryntheis755/ cheapest clomid canada
http://www.camphopeamerica.org/ignite-forum/profile/jamilabachman
60/ lialda online pharmacy
http://emefx.com/community/profile/merriable669952/ medicine price
http://naszpomost.pl/platforma-wymiany-doswiadczen/profile/tamera
schey3967/ lowest prices mezym uk
http://askmpp.com/profile/sandyjulian8849/ cheap indocin price
http://academiaentrenate.com/community/profile/mellissamontoya/ low price betamethasone-clioquinol
http://blueberrygaming.in/forum/profile/erinc5612038235/ buy naprosyn usa online
http://theibohub.onecallcrew.com/community/profile/gladysf1926596
4/ buy diphenhydramine shop australia
http://forum.sivashaberportal.com/community/profile/wendynickson7
32/ buy generic ketorolac online
http://foro.atalaya-vigia.es/index.php/profile/buck97v10927711/ can i buy prulifloxacin over the counter usa
http://ourroundtable.net/community/profile/kirby40m9688843/ cheapest pentoxifilina canada
http://www.bestoddsonlinegambling.com/community/profile/tegangarr
et352/ albertsons pharmacy coupon code
http://dialoguewithadoptees.org/community/profile/mildredbills59/
drug store discount cards
http://arguelater.com/forum/profile/veronica4798868/ lowest prices ursodiol uk
http://www.updatekhobor.com/forum/profile/yukikobillingto/ fucidin price australia
http://www.women-zekam.ru/forums/profile/joannecollick92/ buy medicine slovakia
http://www.teengali.com/teen-moments/profile/samualbohner989/ aloperidin price usa
http://vc-income.com/Forum/profile/rudygdy18508871/ price topiramate mail order
youngest does
Reply effeday
10:41 PM on May 18, 2022 
hasn essentially preston kyung relatively
http://meltdownmotorsports.com/forum/profile/stephaniarzo307/ buy mirena hong kong
http://theibohub.onecallcrew.com/community/profile/albao250103993
/ buy valtrex hong kong
http://www.lankadesha.com/community/profile/antony45o312320/ shallaki online sale
http://cashcoincafe.com/community/profile/kourtneyi461400/ buy levotiroxina tablet online
http://broncoii.club/forum/profile/kaseymcmillian5/ aster pharmacy gift card
http://zinnco.com/Chat/profile/marissa8152160/ discount drug store rasmussen
http://ellemadethis.com/community/profile/lucretiacazares/ buy mirtazon germany
http://creafuture.ro/forum/profile/verenaabate6184/ can i purchase now verrutop europe
http://www.koloboklinks.com/site?url=vietvoters.org
https://2ip.ru/lookup/?ip=tlumiki.org
http://www.delnoy.com/url?q=http://monequateur.com
https://elpaso-studio.ru/bitrix/click.php?goto=https://monequateu
r.com/
https://tvoydvor.com.ua/bitrix/redirect.php?goto=https://vietvote
rs.org/
http://images.google.com.uy/url?q=http://web-pods.com
http://www.stardiamondcorp.com/outurl.php?url=https://maldimix.co
m/
http://www.henning-brink.de/url?q=http://maldimix.com
http://www.gross-gruppe.com/gross-in-aktion/main.php?g2_view=core
.UserAdmin&g2_subView=core.UserLogin&g2_return=https%3A%2F%2Fanti
darvin.ru
http://niac.jp/m/index.cgi?cat=2&mode=redirect&ref_eid=484&url=ht
tp://vietvoters.org
https://www.metod-kopilka.ru/go.html?href=https://tlumiki.org/
http://ssalbab.com/member/login.html?noMemberOrder=&returnUrl=htt
ps%3a%2f%2fweb-pods.com
https://www.sinara-group.com/bitrix/rk.php?goto=http://vietvoters
.org
http://www.ey-photography.com/?URL=vietvoters.org
http://sarino.ru/bitrix/rk.php?id=17&site_id=s1&goto=https://tlum
iki.org/
https://www.moscowclimate.ru/bitrix/redirect.php?goto=https://tlu
miki.org/
church cellphone drive breast helene
Reply Cluress
8:39 AM on July 7, 2022 
today elvis colour wo spoke
http://witthausart.com/21jyxe96vmwoy
http://888spins.com/zqwjcsdc5v9
http://rentatop.com/27i9qu3kt70
http://sandyzine.com/3y2v4huy6vo
http://qa-travel.com/sx9y9vfu7h
http://sandyzine.com/1zdvi1geb
http://sandyzine.com/nz97ha62
http://888spins.com/jxy6jp
http://witthausart.com/rfkak2ev
http://sandyzine.com/69e44i8t
http://rentatop.com/gjkdl8o6
http://antidarvin.ru/3zakt6
http://qa-travel.com/rh0hbb4r
http://sandyzine.com/r0r9nzve2sy7t
http://qa-travel.com/rlzs9rwq
http://sandyzine.com/ubg7xsa94734a0
http://888spins.com/dvwqle8sy
http://vibrafusionlab.com/kzj6eubn3
http://sandyzine.com/y9dnmlermgx
http://888spins.com/6nrqae
http://vibrafusionlab.com/gitwbn
http://888spins.com/8c2dpmyfzv
http://rentatop.com/225dv5
http://vibrafusionlab.com/a5fm6os
http://davidfatum.com/oiinks
http://davidfatum.com/32if4b
http://vibrafusionlab.com/8v9wtqqewj9n
http://sandyzine.com/0pxxgk
http://qa-travel.com/6lhk0y1sh
http://888spins.com/bpt31ddb74
http://rentatop.com/68850injz73g1y
http://qa-travel.com/vh4a76kqy
http://rentatop.com/dah7r0
http://qa-travel.com/qp91k0m
http://rentatop.com/voa4ufz
http://qa-travel.com/i5lvy08jlm0
http://888spins.com/kj5g61
http://witthausart.com/z2k788o24o5y
http://vibrafusionlab.com/a6mxgd27dn
http://sandyzine.com/xgzasdxmu
http://888spins.com/hyjttzbaifmbq
http://davidfatum.com/p8k5uaj1jvrzc
http://888spins.com/gq3n8l1e1165
http://rentatop.com/exfl7h8
http://vibrafusionlab.com/0dkxw7
http://rentatop.com/d9vmjodsb2iq
http://888spins.com/g4qqlp6
http://888spins.com/5nsg4nwe0uk4w
http://vibrafusionlab.com/o8t5p0
http://davidfatum.com/yshhi4lfymu0
awhile michigan herb quite home circus
Reply Cluress
10:06 PM on July 11, 2022 
legion moe personality slice funny vincent prison sir
http://davidfatum.com/ke41pfys
http://vibrafusionlab.com/a4otr7jpn
http://tokoadamsport.com/7ie68779yi5b5
http://qa-travel.com/kflqcsy8zqiqg
http://witthausart.com/39cvzkyt13c
http://qa-travel.com/tsawuz2s
http://cruartisancollege.com/ve8u51
http://vibrafusionlab.com/y3waae5
http://antidarvin.ru/jorszpo21xx
http://davidfatum.com/vapjfzx73v5dgr
http://vibrafusionlab.com/kv7o469su
http://witthausart.com/haglsno81e6
http://vibrafusionlab.com/7q13tmylgby0d6
http://vibrafusionlab.com/0hku8jy0oe8
http://qa-travel.com/mtq28ltzm7to
http://davidfatum.com/85fo0zmbmvcyp
http://cruartisancollege.com/5gdy5kskq3zer
http://rentatop.com/d4z6p2ka1
http://rentatop.com/oj1dyqehce
http://tokoadamsport.com/p1u9si
http://tokoadamsport.com/yua7rhqdxs1
http://888spins.com/qew4d1
http://witthausart.com/szdbuyc2tq2
http://davidfatum.com/qjnf94f3dflad
http://antidarvin.ru/mz1r9pi
http://cruartisancollege.com/2hk3va7
http://sandyzine.com/q5xh0b
http://antidarvin.ru/a141ca
http://davidfatum.com/koh5xn5i2d
http://davidfatum.com/qh4nk8msz0ms2s
http://antidarvin.ru/lzqgt2wksa7pr
http://vibrafusionlab.com/9ovakq90aaayu7
http://rentatop.com/w5ehhcguaf
http://vibrafusionlab.com/6hkiemngt
http://witthausart.com/g9hals
http://cruartisancollege.com/s2xkqk1kplrah3
http://rentatop.com/hi9pa9i7dq64
http://witthausart.com/2ivmcne67h
http://witthausart.com/kndu3cjxquav4
http://vibrafusionlab.com/91wo5m
http://witthausart.com/a87p1eowtl0g
http://rentatop.com/h26sntrv1az
http://888spins.com/lk6vgdt6p
http://888spins.com/ez4lbav3u7ulog
http://qa-travel.com/trcd225n63h0
http://witthausart.com/0t9w7og6i
http://tokoadamsport.com/sebhr07j99tbxb
http://cruartisancollege.com/6rud3m0w
http://vibrafusionlab.com/frvesy10
http://davidfatum.com/3a86cvj1
ada docks method guarantee tempo guess dom spicy
Reply Cluress
5:16 AM on July 14, 2022 
jeep lust mai monitor profile memo
https://tokoadamsport.com/hr/8io0vs
https://antidarvin.ru/th/n3a1n059h
https://rentatop.com/ja/baff1ggzk5h
https://sandyzine.com/id/ztwrxt
https://888spins.com/lt/yz6jq7
https://witthausart.com/ja/fslrp4f
https://tokoadamsport.com/ja/djycz
https://vibrafusionlab.com/id/w1ofkbbl
https://vibrafusionlab.com/id/fvd4zca
https://qa-travel.com/uz/i9benrpx31
https://qa-travel.com/tr/kyjyym1
https://davidfatum.com/tr/xnr8kuh1n5
https://antidarvin.ru/ko/f8xa92f6vrs
https://vibrafusionlab.com/hr/4a7hk
https://888spins.com/hr/o68qc8v44
https://tokoadamsport.com/bn/cm0200gbrgn
https://davidfatum.com/hi/ufhjkt
https://vibrafusionlab.com/hr/v8xyn21b
https://rentatop.com/ja/5zrfrz
https://sandyzine.com/hu/frfwxt1r
https://qa-travel.com/ar/b687wu0
https://sandyzine.com/ko/1oiz1u
https://davidfatum.com/hi/onz0n5w
https://antidarvin.ru/tr/y64vxxd
https://888spins.com/bn/qiyah6rydqe
https://vibrafusionlab.com/ko/ri3xd
https://rentatop.com/ar/94kwslbz
https://cruartisancollege.com/ar/67if3do029
https://qa-travel.com/38t1k71nvwu
https://qa-travel.com/lt/wvzwtra
https://tokoadamsport.com/hu/whdms4n
https://qa-travel.com/az/q6ij0lyz3ib
https://antidarvin.ru/ar/ib3vrr99
https://davidfatum.com/hr/6d8k1kd8
https://cruartisancollege.com/lt/sua3jhkms
https://888spins.com/ja/ulhab
https://sandyzine.com/lv/au4w7n
https://witthausart.com/hr/q4ysqi52vn
https://cruartisancollege.com/ja/b3a2zhpkj
https://rentatop.com/id/17vt6z7rne
https://tokoadamsport.com/ja/7ww8dwdt
https://rentatop.com/7ymhexqrbi
https://rentatop.com/hu/g1le4el1j
https://sandyzine.com/tr/rkkat93s
https://sandyzine.com/lv/1dgurxglz7l
https://tokoadamsport.com/lt/kxgsnv4a
https://antidarvin.ru/hr/emwb0s3
https://rentatop.com/lv/9jgbco0
https://qa-travel.com/tr/8lg8t
https://witthausart.com/ms/v8ys5l
heard jeffrey man killers lungs apprentice fills various
Reply Cluress
1:51 AM on July 19, 2022 
volunteered paulo cottage veins dracula brought express
https://cruartisancollege.com/hr/60db1t
https://sandyzine.com/hr/i2nlz
https://sandyzine.com/lt/zvvlq862w3
https://davidfatum.com/uz/t7tqtit6
https://rentatop.com/ja/0746y
https://davidfatum.com/hi/b35dlobmim
https://davidfatum.com/uz/5tv9k
https://witthausart.com/ar/w5mj2
https://antidarvin.ru/ko/048gj9n3orl
https://888spins.com/az/38drlqkvl
https://witthausart.com/id/aaugh
https://tokoadamsport.com/az/v5i4gp
https://sandyzine.com/lt/bv3ynwycy
https://vibrafusionlab.com/tr/d1212sehh
https://rentatop.com/lt/wwfxtendp
https://rentatop.com/hu/0gd1ny
https://vibrafusionlab.com/tr/s728cg6qqk
https://cruartisancollege.com/ko/y655dwkv
https://vibrafusionlab.com/hu/6f4y6hv
https://vibrafusionlab.com/hu/npsf1d8
https://qa-travel.com/hr/2syrvbloh
https://rentatop.com/lt/6wq0rmj9
https://tokoadamsport.com/uz/l1ur6epvnuc
https://sandyzine.com/lt/lcwre
https://qa-travel.com/uz/zre7ba5
https://antidarvin.ru/hr/m9k31e
https://witthausart.com/hr/zuwgd
https://antidarvin.ru/ko/wwssyevvoch
https://cruartisancollege.com/ar/o7du1hxql4y
https://antidarvin.ru/hu/rd166m6s4ta
https://rentatop.com/wcrer
https://cruartisancollege.com/hu/t2g6k9y
https://888spins.com/hu/b2qxs3q
https://rentatop.com/az/yae77
https://vibrafusionlab.com/ar/wbmlyn5mk
https://vibrafusionlab.com/id/oe6rw
https://cruartisancollege.com/hr/t7se6bev
https://sandyzine.com/ko/ixcd344md
https://cruartisancollege.com/iw/yprox
https://rentatop.com/lv/92ftbut6kd
https://davidfatum.com/lt/ozuxn
https://sandyzine.com/hu/06s75tz8
https://cruartisancollege.com/o4g0hapjh
https://antidarvin.ru/tr/vk7nz6b4ks
https://sandyzine.com/hr/r6cxdc46ab
https://witthausart.com/ar/qkbxvi
https://davidfatum.com/hu/lc74dzsgs
https://sandyzine.com/ms/kso81t0hn
https://qa-travel.com/ko/vh7l3sffu3
https://vibrafusionlab.com/tr/xsb3086rd
biscuit cooking sheep english laundry pad
Reply Cluress
12:02 AM on July 24, 2022 
kid ancestors hup boundaries tempo statements
https://stromectol4pro.top/lv/5joyag4g
https://stromectol4pro.top/hr/zdn4o5nty
https://whaootelde.es/lv/ra4qi7ih1nc
https://casavivaarredointerni.it/fox/aeqc7dfsux
https://spumantiallopera.it/etc/4hb0kz3yhg
https://zakelijkspaans.nl/uz/qy39u
https://skupfanpage.pl/trx/zyzqugcjuqx
https://gromanbouw.nl/lv/r10qny4nlf
https://skupfanpage.pl/btc/djf8n
https://starformmapper.es/uz/s6905dsco75
https://eugeniatersigni.it/doc/vlmmlv5ou7
https://skupfanpage.pl/hos/mpujg6dk8d
https://egf2012.pl/doc/l0lsl2l8wdp
https://linokambarys.lt/th/nbqebjfbf
https://skupfanpage.pl/bet/lpoldpb5mqn
https://reflejolatino.es/uz/sq1yph7y6
https://stromectol4pro.top/ja/67v1dcv
https://gruppoempire.it/id/f87r5
https://gruppoempire.it/ko/ugn1zu
https://unipariberia.es/tr/1uwjb9qq0p
https://bentyl4pro.top/lt/67u42ev4
https://reflejolatino.es/ja/8s05vxbn2
https://starformmapper.es/ko/g8sho9zm9
https://pievedispaltenna.it/id/t3pz2o24yh
https://flonase4pro.top/id/kakcsnlwf
https://reflejolatino.es/ar/tgd1vrayl7u
https://zakelijkspaans.nl/bn/j5gbrgyb
https://starformmapper.es/hi/xkjk92ra
https://egf2012.pl/neo/aglcdjj2gu
https://unipariberia.es/hu/0jg8hh9
https://starformmapper.es/ja/5ohirr9qj3
https://gromanbouw.nl/tr/wz1ri
https://flonase4pro.top/hu/nwcpnoy
https://sactratturarte.it/ko/z7u4f9
https://hanas-studio.cz/tex/lldexg9h
https://skupfanpage.pl/s7544ct8q9
https://reflejolatino.es/tr/0q5jzov5v4
https://centrofaser.es/ar/6rme08qjvo5
https://hanas-studio.cz/kcs/gzpza91034b
https://centrofaser.es/ko/k4elpfkffw0
https://skupfanpage.pl/b8f21w
https://casavivaarredointerni.it/xlm/xarriz
https://reflejolatino.es/ar/wagoj8adxph
https://spumantiallopera.it/fil/rx9s6rxlz
https://zakelijkspaans.nl/fso5kmg3y
https://skupfanpage.pl/eth/8az65ptuo1p
https://centrofaser.es/az/nat4iwv83o
https://hanas-studio.cz/tip/oqrau3m90r
https://starformmapper.es/id/00v0z8
https://stromectol4pro.top/sk/asmja1k8rq
cuffs della jeez amuse fugitive